Thoughts for Thursday.

I am a sucker for alliteration - as most of my posts show. Today is no different - let's have some positive thoughts for Thursday. 

This week has been a whirlwind - as most are, but the urgency of the EOG has been looming over my head and my students, and we have been putting in work to see results. We've been working hard all year (don't get it twisted), but every great puts in hard work in the eleventh hour.

Despite my personal and professional life being in shambles for a ton of reasons, my time with students is something I crave. It's consistency, it's safe, and it's a positive experience. I love being in my classroom with them, and having discussions about humans and their impact on ecosystems, watching disgusting videos of parasites, and trying every operation to figure out a word problem - being their teacher, being a teacher is the only thing I am sure of in my life right now. 

This week has been hard, because I have realized that people I respected do not necessarily have respect for me. I won't get too specific or too personal for professional reasons, but I had a moment of clarity when my tender heart realized that not everyone, even those who I respect, respect or value me. This has made me reevaluate my choice to stay at my school, and where I want my life to go. 

I recently read an article about turning 25 (which I do this year), and the author made a point to explain that at 25, she had to make some concrete decisions about where her life was going and where it would go, and at the end of the day, she had to cut off activities that were toxic or not helping her achieve her ultimate goal. I feel like that right now. How much do I cut off - how much do I change, so I can achieve my ultimate goal? How much do I tolerate for convenience and comfort? How much of myself do I sacrifice for a chance to do what I want? 

I have a job interview on Tuesday for a private school in a neighboring city. I am completing applications for another round of graduate school (cheers to being a life-long learner!), and I am supposed to move into a new apartment next Saturday.

Whatever decision I make in the next nine days will affect everything for next year and potentially, the rest of my life; but at the end of the day, I only have myself to be loyal to - no matter how much I feel loyal to my work place or to a supervisor or a colleague - I only have myself and my dream to truly think about. 

Photo Credit: Pinterest 

9 days.

Photo credit: Google Images

9 days. 

9 days till the EOG. 

Such a scary thought. 

9 days till my students are assessed on everything we have learned, practiced, discussed, and worked on the entire year. 

9 days till my reputation rests on the shoulders of 10 year olds. 

As a teacher, you have to disassociate yourself from the reality of test scores, and be the best teacher you can be every single day. I cannot be crippled by fear of failure on my part or the part of my students. Being afraid doesn't teach them to preserve and try their best. Being hesitant doesn't show them it's okay to make mistakes and try again and again. I am the best role model for my students and I have to set the tone of success, the attitude of excellence that needs to be poured into my classroom. 

I have been blessed with a group of students who know that knowledge and intelligence comes from hard work and lots of experience, and I have tried my best to give them that this year. I have to take comfort in the fact that I have tried my best, and they will try their best too. We are family. We are in this together. This is our journey and in 9 days, it's going to wrap up. 

To the next 9 days of my life and the EOGs, prepare to be defeated and bloodied by the most fabulous fifth graders ever. 

I'm Moving!

Photo Credit: Pinterest

That's right, I'm moving...




to a new apartment complex about 10 minutes away from my current one. (: What does this mean? This means I am staying in North Carolina. I am declining the job in California. 

Please save the you're only young once, you have one life speech for someone else. I am young. I only have one life, and I am choosing how to live it. 

Staying in North Carolina does not make my life less meaningful or exciting; on the flip side, it makes it that much more meaningful and exciting. A few carefully placed events in the past few days have showed me my life is here, at least for the next few years. I have built a name for myself as an educator and have made a life that I am proud of and love (most days.) So, I will respectfully decline the job to California, which was perfect and wonderful on paper, and who knows - it could have been in real life too. It just wasn't for me. 

This blog was created to chronicle my journey for new beginnings and my search for my place, and through this whole process, I have found what I was looking for. It was right in front of me. That sounds so clique, but it's true. Being forced to think about the idea of moving away forced me to see the amazing things that I have in front of me. It forced me to see that I am surrounded by friends who have become a tiny little family for me, a job that I love (most days), a city that I have grown to call home, and a few other things that I am keeping a secret for now. (: 

I can't say how long I'll stay in North Carolina. It will be for at least a year, maybe longer if I can re-enroll in school in the fall for a Ph.D program. I do know one thing is for sure - this isn't the end. It's very much the beginning, very much the fresh outlook I had been craving to make my life even more fulfilling and enjoyable here. In this moment, I will never be younger than I am now, so let's take a breath, enjoy the fact that the Ginger isn't moving too far, and be totally in love with life! 

Here's to a new chapter and a new apartment in an old city! 

Photo Credit: Pinterest

On a side note: My boo from college has started a blog: http://thejourneyof3cs.blogspot.com/. Please check it out. She does such a good job letting her voice carry across the screen and inspire others to do their best! (: 

Teacher Appreciation Week!

Teacher Appreciation Week. 

This is probably my favorite week of the year, aside from my birthday week. It's a week dedicated to appreciation everything educators, all educators, do for America's students. People have this idea of a teacher being some old schoolmarm with a line of apples on her desk and no husband, and everyone thinks she is mean. 

THIS IS NOT A TEACHER. 

A teacher is someone who inspired you in school, and school can be elementary, high school, and college; a teacher is someone who drove you to do your best. That's a teacher. Teachers take all shapes and sizes and wear a lot of different hats, and they all deserve to be appreciated. This week means everything to my profession, especially in North Carolina. We have taken a beating this year, and there is a large group of us who keep coming back for more. 

Why? Why do I keep coming back? 

Because, my passion is education. Teaching is a life style. It's a large part of my self identity, and my heart is endless with how much I love my students. That's right - I love your child as my own. I haven't had my own children, that is irrelevant. My capacity to love and make your child believe in themselves is something I take very seriously about my job. It's my hope that this week you take time to appreciate that. Appreciate the teachers who hug your child when you aren't there, who encourage your child when you can't, who remind them that they have a million and one things to offer this world when you can't. We are a team. We aren't enemies. We both want the best for your child and that's the most success they can achieve. 

Appreciate your teachers. Appreciate our jobs - for most of us, it's our life. 

I may not ever have a lot of money. I may not ever get to afford to take a vacation, because my classroom needs pencils and glue or one of my babes needed new clothes or a backpack. I may not ever get to spend a weekend doing whatever I want, because my duty to my passion outranks binging on Netflix, but I know one thing - I will have impacted so many lives that the count is innumerable. I will have made a difference that will continue long after I am here. I will have showed a child that they are loved and valued, and that they are the most important person to me, not just for 180 days, but for their whole life. My oldest class will be in 8th grade next year, and guess what? They still run to greet me in Food Lion, and still tell me that they love me and they mean it. 

So, take this week to appreciate the people who educate your whole child. It's not about the presents. It's not about material goods - just say "Thank you." It will be enough. I promise. 

On a side note: The school from California is providing me a contract today or tomorrow. We will see what happens. 

Motivation Monday! (:

photo credit: Pinterest

While Monday is almost over, the need for motivation never is! 

It's been a while since I have blogged, especially about my search for a new home and a new job, and it's because my present has been so busy that I haven't had time to think about my future, which may be a good thing! 

Over spring break, instead of seriously job and soul searching, I relaxed. I took a breath that I hadn't realized I had been holding, and it was marvelous. I spent time with my best friend and my family and it was exactly what I needed. I actually read a book for fun - not to tell my kids about, not to learn more best practices - just for fun, and it was so necessary for myself. I participated in a creative writing group that I worked to get accepted into, but have neglected due to work and school, and that was so nice to have people recognize me apart from my job or profession. I realized, over spring break, that a large part of my self-identity is wrapped up in my job. I'll leave that for another blog post. (: 

We are in the midst of EOG review, which is a work-out for me and my kids. Critically thinking for 90% of your day is exhausting for everyone, even the grown-up in the room, so it's been a challenge to help my kids adjust, when I can't even get myself together half the time. I can't complain though - my students are such hard workers; their work ethic will put anyone's to shame. My part time job has finally wrapped, and I am so grateful for that opportunity. The world knows I already didn't make enough money, so having a second job has more than helped out with expenses, but it will be nice to have the time back to focus on school and the potential of another job. 

I have an interview for the job in California on Wednesday via Skype, which is very exciting, but at the same time, I am almost numb to the experience. I think my mind has put itself on auto-pilot while job searching, because it's so overwhelming. I get so anxious that I won't be good enough or I won't make the right decision or I won't like the outcome - I worry more about the outcome than I do about the journey, and it shouldn't be that at all. I need to enjoy the journey and be prepared for an outcome either way. Some people would give up a lot for this opportunity, and I have to take advantage of it. So here's to California and good news! 

With Monday winding to a close and Tuesday getting dressed and packing its lunch to report for duty, take a moment to breathe and remember that this is your life. No one else owns it. No one else is owed an explanation or an answer or a justification. It's your's. You do what you want with it - however little or big it is, you do it. If all else fails, just remember Jay-Z and Beyonce are going on tour together this summer and all will be right in the world again. 

"Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to your life? Since you cannot do this, why do you worry about the rest?" Luke 12:25-26

Photo credit: Pinterest

Photo credit: Pinterest

Working Woman Wednesday!

Photo courtesy of Pinterest/Bluntcard 

Feeling frustrated? Waiting for greatness? Wishing for fame and fortune? 

Stop, pause, and enjoy #workingwomanwednesday! 

It's been a week since my last post, and while my job search has slowed and I haven't heard much from other schools, my life has still be a whirlwind. I've been having small moments, where I've been rethinking relocating or leaving my current school, and who knows why? My mind and my life are entities of their own. I can make plans, I can fill out applications and I can call and interview, but at the end of the day, if God and the world has another plan for me, then it all doesn't matter. I have had to come to terms with this lately, that there are times when things are legitimately out of my control. That sounds so stupid, especially since I am 24 - you would think I would have learned or observed that by now. I am an obnoxious control freak, bordering on the point of therapy, and up until now, everything I have wanted, at least in a professional sense, I have gotten. This is the first time I have ever had to slow down and wait. 

Realistically, that's neither here nor there, because I have a current job and current cupcakes, who need me and my undivided attention. We are preparing for EOGs and my students and I are preparing for our version of a championship. My students work so hard and are so very wonderful - I couldn't ask for a better class, and after seeing their Case 21 scores yesterday, they don't have such a bad teacher either. (: 

That brings me to my overall point on this halfway rainy, halfway to spring break Wednesday - today, praise yourself. Take a moment to stop and praise yourself. Don't wait for someone else to do it or someone else to notice - you will be waiting forever. Treat yourself kindly and love yourself. Your opinion matters more than anything else. 

This is so very important to me right now, because I am seeking to believe in myself internally as much as I appear believe in myself externally. I want you to do the same thing - make your inner voice match your outer voice. All of those things you want to hear from someone else, make yourself say them. Don't let others influence how you feel about yourself. You have one self - spend your life loving yourself, and what the world thinks won't matter. 

Photo courtesy of Pinterest 

Working Woman Wednesday!

Photo Credit: Kush and Wizdon

Wednesday - my favorite Addams family member, not quite my favorite day of the week, but I am a sucker for alliteration. (: 

There have been so many little moments in this week that have reminded me how grateful I am for my life and the people in it. My students, despite having mock EOGs three days this week, have kept positive spirits and handled it well. My mom has called me twice to wake up, since I forgot to set any alarm (Where do they do that at?) I haven't been to the beach since my senior year of college, so pretty much a million years ago, and my best friend and I planned a two day trip that I could not be more excited about. When you need reminding, your life will remind how much you have and how blessed you are and that's a beautiful thing.  

On the job front, since that was the main purpose for this endeavor, things have quieted. I could not afford to travel to California at such short notice for an interview, so they are working to schedule Skype interviews with me, and I have made a list of places I am interested in. As most in the educational field know, teachers hold onto jobs till the literal last moment, so right now, we are in a waiting game. We can definitely cross any place outside of the US off (for now.) Again, this is a journey - journeys aren't meant to a straight path or even a mapped course. You have to chart your own way. People can come if they want, but remember: success isn't an escalator, it's a staircase. 

"What you do speaks so loudly that I cannot hear what you say." - Ralph Waldo Emerson